quoted: "i have so many lovemarks" -oliverr

you know you're spoiled when you're biggest complaint of the day is that the parma ham isn't cut thinly enough.

i keep meaning to shave, but i keep forgetting, too. and the flat is a HUGE mess, so that's my primary goal for the weekend. if it would ever arrive. i think i'm getting a cleaner.

ok. i'm not all that creative today. sigh. i need to start reading more. should make me more interesting.

quoted: "see, i think it'd be nice to be shaved" -brent

quoted: "i'm not posh. i live in mayfair because i'm lazy" -ryan

yeah. it's pretty good. more than that. it's damn good. i've got 150 pages of the 7th harry potter left, and i'm getting to the point where i don't want it to end. but, sigh, it must.

i had a lovely weekend. reading. napping. dinner at le garrick on saturday and at the wolseley last night. lunch in hampstead yesterday with mikes and susie at the holly bush. the flat is literally lousy with brennans. but it's kinda nice. some of them go to see castles and things.

it's looking like september is a write off, with trips to seville, dublin zurich and san francisco--that's after a 3 day trip to edinburgh at the tail end of august. i'm exhuasted already. i don't think i like to travel. i know it could be worse: i could be based in topeka kansas, getting shipped off to places like cedar rapids iowa and dayton ohio. no offense to the people who live in those places, of course. but decatur illinois isn't paris.

i was at the most beautiful mass at farm street yesterday. the salve regina was written by a frenchman by the name of poulenc...in 1941. it was beautiful. i'm listening to the choirs of st johns and king's cambridge sing evensong right now. and it's beautiful, too. makes me sad that my nap made me miss the mozart at st james piccadilly on saturday.

quoted: "i have a right to an erect penis once or twice per day" -derelicte party

did you know that i'm chock-full of opinions. and i'm almost always right, but no one ever asks. or no one important ever asks so that they can make good and wise decisions. that's vexing.

i say this because i was out for a drink with a guardian journalist on wednesday night, and we got to discussing those internet trends: facebook and second life. according to said journalist, facebook is so hot right now, and it's hip to dis second life. this begs the questions of whether second life was ever cool. i know BBC and oxford and lots of people decided to create a "presence" in second life, but anyone sensible surely would have seen that it serves no purpose. surely? as to facebook, i've been saying for ages that myspace is useless and ugly and that facebook actually offers utility to its users. i'm certain i said as much last year. or even two years ago. sigh.

but that gets me on to my next rant: apparently there's a lack of established etiquette for social networking sites, so people don't know what's appropriate. so let me lay it out: if you wouldn't say hello to someone if you walked past them on the street, you shouldn't accept their friend request on facebook. if you'd cross the street to avoid someone, you shouldn't accept their friend request. it's not cruel; it's proper.

you *should* have your boss on limited profile. why? because you might invite her to your dinner party, but you wouldn't invite you on the lash. or the pull. it makes perfect sense--why don't people get it?

quoted: "you do look a bit like a librarian who's about to strip off and take it from behind" -james to ali

i don't even know why i've been so crap at keeping this up. i know i feel better when i post. i know that i'm more relaxed and i seem to have more time at work. but then things get going, and all of a sudden it's 6 pm again. summer in london remains thoroughly unimpressive. the nicest days we've had this year were all in april and that sucks.

on the plus side: pandora is back. and this kicks major butt. there's a live version of "golden age of radio" on right now. and it's amazing.

i think i've mentioned that andrew and i are going through all three seasons of grey's anatomy. while i don't really want to admit it, it's a pretty good show. sigh. the episode we watched last night (which ended with me very upset that it was bed time) included a version of the joseph arthur song "in the sun"...which you'll all know and love from the move saved.

watching this stoopid show has also made me wish, for the first time ever, that i'd decided to become a doctor. not for any glamorous reason (i'm not silly enough to think that all doctors are that attractive or interesting, or that the cases they see are that cool), but just because it matters a lot to someone when they screw up. that, and they're not expected to create their next patient out of thin air.

that said, my friends are attractive and my life is interesting without be melodramatic. so i still think i win. oh. and i get enough sleep every night. i could use a fan, though. and some lead crystal tumblers. any recommendations?

yesterday was too busy. today, i give you quotestravaganza 2007:

"i've had it with a carl with a c before but never with a k" -carl
"do you know how many people you meet in a laundromat?!" -miranda
"i challenge thee." "thou!" "whatever." -new college ball

"nobody likes vegetable pizza. except girls" -brennan
"i don't mind the diversity..." -mike, on camberwell
"she's such a ho." -poppy, about alex

"please tell me you're not going to drag the hoff into this." -work
"it's just a back door, but it's quite a good back door; quite a wide back door." -work
"i don't ever want to do another event with orange juice." -work

"i don't know, but i'll be wearing my very slinky silk nightie." -work
"it's all fun until someone vomits." -ellen
"as if we'd still get served." -drunk girls at the turf

"i had a really bad cough and a really bad rash." -the turf
"what job can you get when you're seven and physically deformed?" -ollie, on sweatshops
"when i worked there we never had trannies at parties." -work

"i don't drink during the day, but..." -matt
"i look forward to seeing all of you come in your pyjamas." -work
"surely this only happens to people who look at porn all day." -ollie, on malware

"we can save a whole lot of time if you tell me you're gay." -new friend on night bus. to andrew
"no canadian has ever said the word 'cunt'." -wandon cartoon party
"who the hell are you? i'm looking for some vodka." -tony, to me

"barbados. it's a hard life." -party
"sophie ellis bextor is still special to me." -the astoria
"i love nipples, but they are so weird." -james r

"it's good to be pimped out. it's fun." -james r
"you eat everything through a tube." -strong sad
"mine is moderately soiled. use it." -anne

"andrew's being exported, right?" -stranger friend at trash palace
"i took it like a man." -andrew. "a gay man." -james r
"that's a huge fire extinguisher." -me "that's what she said." -julie

"i swear like a cunt." -james s, not ironically
"there was one time i found myself in the closet." -2nd easter dinner
"give it to me hard." -mikes, at easter dinner

"i love a good bit of rape." -emma
"just take it off before you fist people." -emma, on signet rings
"that's cheating." -keats, on having sex within the context of a relationship

"emma squeals for most things, to be honest." -dottie, over easter lunch
"i normally just swallow." -poppy
"sodomy smells like a pet store." -party in covent garden with carl

"we do naked virgins." -tope
"she can't say no when you're spaffing in her mouth." -dottie (always a lady)
"if anyone says anything, i'll just say it's the pleats." -boris

"you're not a practising catholic. you're not promiscuous enough" -boris
"if he couldn't be a character in brideshead he's not getting into my bed." -rugby
"this is going to wales. in england." -valley forge post office

"it wouldn't be awkward if you were drinking" -alex
"okay, well the last time *i* shagged a sixteen-year-old..." -30-something stragner in leicester square
"if you were fat i would actually cry for a century." -poppy

"why is my end brown?" -cameron
"i didn't have time. i was drinking champagne." -james
"i'd prefer to be raped by my guards than go to my execution a virgin." -dottie
"a woman came up to me today..." -fred. "is this about her vagina?" -girl

quoted: "it's 5.30 am. my pants are off" -robin